How to work with validating couples
Rather than trying to cheer your partner up, you allow them space to be upset. For instance, say that you go to see a movie together. You can also show validation with non-verbals, such as giving them a hug if they feel lonely, making them a cup of tea if they feel jittery, or giving them space if they need time to think.
Afterward, you discuss your thoughts about the film. " Gently asking questions to clarify their experience can be very gratifying for them. In the end, it's about the way you interact together, much more so than what you do together.
There are a few key components to help guide your conversations. Mindful listening is the first component of validation.
And they do need to have a way to express intense feelings (that the other person may not understand or support) without feeling that they will be judged as lacking for doing so.It means engaging passionately about things we feel passionate about, without resorting to hurting one another. Friendly fighting lets us “fight” and still stay friends.Couples in mature, healthy relationships seem intuitively to understand the notion of friendly fighting.(It would be quite boring if they did.) Couples do need to be able to negotiate differences.They do need to have room for constructive criticism.